Early Morning Thinkings Part 2

Yes another one of these, but this shall be short seeing as this is more of an "I live" post. My mind is a 'tabula rasa' right now, but then again maybe that for the best. I really don't know whats wrong or right with me, I figured out I am more human than I care to admit. Why is communication such a struggle, and why is it difficult to have what you truly want? I don't know, but I am sure of one things. I'm tired... I am very, very tired. Years of weight are pulling me through the sand and mud, and I just want an easy access pass right about now.

Like I've said, few times before... I always have this feeling, this pest that constantly lingers by me which pokes and prys and whispers: "You're letting time pass you by, we are not long on this earth and you're wasting it away"

Now in my single room, nice and clean, organized [to a degree] and in the decorative process I stare and think to myself, how lonely. Sure when you wake in the morning and think to yourself of no roadblocks, or precautions needed to be taken due to the presence of a fellow being, it seems pretty sweet. But in those quiet, uneventful, nights when you can clearly hear the people above you [who apparently don't exist] blaring their music and sounding jolly as you try to sleep in your bed, you can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of emptiness. It's lonely a single room. It's very lonely to a person who already is surrounded by the presence of nothing.

Today, my Sociology teacher pointed somethings out. Now before going over this, I'll state that I have a mixed opinion on the concepts displayed amongst culture and science [And I definitely don't think Alcoholism is a disease, it just can lead to it]** But anyway. He pointed out a valid concept, how the best working, most common structure in all forms of relationships is a triad, or a group of three people. No matter how it works out, everything forms a triad. The thing with triad's however is that someone is always left out, because two members will always bond closer. The moment he explained the structure and gave us examples, I felt as if I were hit with a two ton dose of reality. My whole life rushed before my eyes, and I examined it and like many I realized that it was truly the story of my life. And at the time I was feeling a bit of insecurity amongst my own current friends which I could not identify. And there it was, it revealed itself in a simple lesson plan. most people would try to fix the problem. Gaby [of course] slumps into a deep depression, and when she tries to fix the depression gets into a horrid situation which worsens said depression. Eitherway, it carried out right up till Monday, the day after I returned from my first trip ever to Disney World E>

All in all, yet again I have to search for some path of happiness. In all honesty, I know where I can find it, but right now it just is not in my reach. I can only believe that it will be after college. But for now I have to find something else to bide my time, Ren-Fest is coming up soon but it goes away. So when it's over, I have to be prepared this year, because I refuse to go into a one month depression after fair for the 5th time in a row. XD

Until Next Time,

Love

Just Gaby

(o'w')> Comment I Don't Bite <('w' o)

** Saturday/Feb 6 2010/2:07am- Every thing after this point was added later on, this kills the authenticity a bit since I had time to calm down and think about it all. But I am basically still saying what I planned to say, more rationally since it would've been a bit more wordy at the time this post was originally started. For those who might have seen the post prior to me editing, you would know that it ended with the words: ["Ahh fuck it put in a bad mood"] I was, due t a little scuffle that had happened at that time, but it was minor and not a major matter of concern. Thanks to those who showed concern :]

Beileve it or not this is just a Normal run-of-the-mill post!

I know! Surprising right?! No segments, no music, NADA!!!!!!! I just felt like posting today :] I needed to get some stuff off of my chest. Coming into the new year I was filled with a surge of positivity. I don't know why but I felt good about everything. I'm back in college now and I'm trying to figure out why I was so excited to go back. I guess its one of those Catch 22's, where you want something but once you have it you get bored or don't feel the same. Just started classes and I've gotta say my teacher for History is pretty awesome. I've been lucky enough to have a good streak of history teachers.

The first one I had was in 4th grade, Mr Douglas was amazing. His rendition of Pocahontas was the best, in my opinion.

Then skipping 5th grade, which was a young chick named Ms.Sweeney who taught us right out of the book...

In 6th grade I had Mr.Colasanto, who honestly gets the biggest of respects from me because he shaped my political mind set today and kind of aided me on my way to my future career. First off his teaching style was amazing! Whether it was a Toilet paper time-line or playing guitar and singing songs, well he was awesome! Because of him, the two years wasted after him [7th and 8th grade my geo/history teachers didn't know shit] didn't hurt my learning because he made my thinking go ahead of my grade. I had such a good understanding of the Cold War and event occurring around me after his class. Funny because he was only suppose to teacher ancient history, but like many say! You can't understand the present with learning about the past. I hope to see him one day in the future.

As I said 7th and 8th grade with Mr.Jones were a waste, the only highlight is that I realized years later that I had beaten my 7th grade teacher Mr.Blue in an argument about politics because I had my facts together! I was a child genius!

9th grade was kind of a waste too, but I did think Ms.Williams was a very kind lady and honestly appreciated the world. She helped me learn the name of countries so I can always appreciate that!

10th & 12th grade I had the pleasant experience of having a class with Mr.Miller, he is another man who I have the utmost respect for. I learned so much from him and he just is a truly genuine amazing person, he has utmost respect for the world, it's people, its environment and just EVERYTHING. Europe will never be the same to me XD And I had the fantastic opportunity to have his class TWICE!

11th grade was another great year for history! I had Mr.Weigel, or as I accidentally called him do to extreme lack of sleep Mr.Wiggle. XD He gave me and amazing lesson on our country and what more he was a moderate republican. You'd think we would clash! And we did have our arguments, lol like Yankees vs Red Sox [who suck BTW] but he was a very respectable EDUCATED and aware man which was why I do not regret taking his class and would gladly do it again :] Wonder how he will react when he sees me as a future senator XD

11th & 12th grade I had Mr.Lamarca, [Lamarkypoo >.<] he is no longer teaching, which to me is a major loss to the education community in my opinion. He was awesome, he taught me about law and framers. Honestly he was a very kind-hearted and sweet little man, very much like that cool uncle who makes hot cocoa. Weird reference I know XD

Anyway, right now my teacher is Mr. Levitt, or little Levi in I adore the man! He is hilarious, and like all the other teachers above, passionate about what he does. That something that gets credit in my book. And not to mention his speeches are not easily forgotten XD


Well peace yall, 

             Just Gaby

On The For The Real Talk? Part 1: Stereotypes Need to Fucking STOP

So I'm starting off the New Year, doing pretty well so far! Keeping positive and feeling positive. Trying new things and slowly dreams are coming true :3 So HERE WE GO! yes, yes ANOTHER new segment [I told you it was coming in my music segment didn't I?] In this segment I basically pick a topic [of any scale I don't believe in boundaries when it comes to speech, well unless your talking about cannibals and EXTREMELY perverse subjects like vore and Miley Cyrus then yeah ALMOST no boundaries XD] and state both fact and opinion. And I have a strong opinion on most things so don't expect a picnic in these posts! Anyway! Here we go!

 

Courtesy of: Starlight MKS 

Stereotypes, Labels, Judging, though they don't always have to be negative majority of the time that is what they are associated with. From there they branch out, into arrogance, ignorance, homophobia, racism, sexism, prejudice, bigotry you name it. Well guess what? It needs to stop! Very much it needs to stop! I've always been a very strong advocate against such mannerism, and for the most part I have lived my life the way I preached. I would recently learn that I was still missing a huge chunk of the puzzle [I'll get to this in a later paragraph]