Early Morning Thinkings Part 1

College has made me into an insomniac, or more like 100% nocturnal... sad but true! So post like this will occur often, tangent ramblings at 1am or often 3am in the morning. So what's on my mind as of now? I just watched Doctor Who, [I am a huge fan yes indeed] and seeing this drastic, manic, change coming upon The Doctor I couldn't help but think of humanities obsession with wanting to change the inevitable:

"Have you ever had those times when in your mind you've come up with this delicate but simple [well at least to you its simple] outline of how a specific event in your life is going to happen for it only to completely backfire in your face?"

Well I know it all too well. I'm not some master manipulator, I just have a horrid tendency of anticipating things way to quickly, or sometimes just jump the gun on situations. Though I'm not planning to get into much detail this time around, I'm just going to toss an idea out there. Destiny, are some people destined to be spited with all they do? Are some people born the tragic hero or tragic zero? Or as some theories suggest, do some just constantly call negativity upon themselves? Do they sabotage and spite their self? I've come to reject the concept that the good guy wins in the end, I've seen far too many examples disproving it. So when an outcome goes as planned, good or bad, against all odds, is it a matter of destiny or is it ones own will and determination?

That being said, am I doing something wrong? Lately I've been trying to call upon mass postivity. For awhile it worked, things seemed to be going quite well. But then, when it seemed like life was going too well, everything that could be physically wrong did during anything I expected to work out well. I know that life isn't a silk smooth road, however the extreme of everything were surreal. Luckily in some situations they worked out, in a different but pleasant way but then it just continued. Everything that went well, was just doubled over by something extremely horrid. Some philosophies state that if one even slips up in their thoughts [like if their train of positive thought gets interrupted even by one tiny negative one] then that one tiny thought will negate all progress and any further progress. I find this interesting... however, it contradicts my process in which my negative thoughts didn't begin until the constant onslaught of negativity ensued. Could it be that there might be some third party influence? :-'

Well I'll end it there! I'll touch upon this subject some other time, but for now I'm left a confused student, biding her time with philosophical questions. Till next time...

再見 (zai jian) Just Gaby

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